UNFAIR TO SNUGGLERS! They’ve taken out the sofas at The Directors’ Club.

The fancy UA cinema in Tai Koo Shing’s Cityplaza mall has been remodeled and all the sofas have been replaced by individual armchairs.

This maximizes income, because strangers don’t want to share sofas. But it defeats the whole point of having a sofa in a cinema, which is the joy of sharing the experience of watching a powerful movie—and having an excuse for a cuddle.

directors club

I’ll never forget seeing Lord of the Rings on one of their sofas sitting between two pretty women (my wife and her friend Margaret).

When Shelob the giant spider suddenly appeared, they both shrieked and leapt into my arms.

This is the only time in my whole life I have had women physically fighting over me.

I was never the same again.

But now my heart bleeds for the fact that other puny guys might go through their whole lives without ever having that experience.

Last week I saw a movie there and the young lovers in the back row had somehow managed to drape themselves over two armchairs. They looked extremely uncomfortable.

Way to go, UA Cityplaza.

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WENT TO RAMEN HOUSE in Electric Road, Tin Hau, at the beginning of September, to find tinsel and a mini-Christmas tree up. At a branch of Habitu, Christmas songs were playing. So a winter festival begins, as outdoors, the heat melts my eyeballs.

christmas decorations 1

In the meantime, a reader sent me this picture of a lovely unifying campaign that everyone can join in with.

early christmas 2
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I JUST HAD TO GIVE a taste-test to this extra-large pack of potato chips (or “crisps”, to British-English speakers) because of the name: “Numb and Spicy”.

The snack, newly launched in Hong Kong, is named after those hotpot soups, such as tom yam, which have so much chilli that your mouth loses all feeling.

numb snack

[Takes bite.]

Aw, man! That’s so spicy it hurts! Only a lunatic would eat this!

(Takes another.]

This is probably causing me significant physical harm. I am NOT eating this.

[Takes another.]

The pain! The pain!

[Takes another.]

I’m stopping now. Seriously.

[Finishes pack.]

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OUR IMAGE OF a strangely named business in Hong Kong has inspired the growth of a Facebook page called Asian Business Names. So let’s keep them going. Here’s the Wi Wi Building in Bonham Strand.

wi wi commercial
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GOOD TO HEAR that Disney has chosen Hong Kong as the place to launch its new relationship with Marvel Comics. The design team is working on a new ride for Hong Kong Disneyland in 2016.

This is how it will work.

1) You queue up.

2) You are shown stuff that is purportedly from the history of amazing inventions from Stark Industries (from the Iron Man

movie series).

3) You climb into seats made to look like a new plane called Iron Wing.

4) You take a short “flight” to the top of Tony Stark’s new building the Hong Kong Stark Tower.

5) Uh-oh! A bad guy called Hydra attacks! Using your weapons, you help Iron Man defeat the evil forces of Hydra.

In the battle, you accidentally destroy various Hong Kong buildings, but there are plenty to go round, so don’t worry.

I can’t wait to share this new, exciting experience of gratuitous violence with my children.

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THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: Democracy in Hong Kong is like a group of sheep being asked to choose which of three wolves they would like to have as chef.

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KEEP SENDING IN the ideas. Columns are teamwork. The columnist gets the credit, you do the work.

Nury Vittachi

Nury Vittachi

Nury Vittachi failed to win the Man Booker Prize this year. He also failed to win the Pulitzer Prize. He hopes to make it a clean sweep by failing to win the Nobel Prize for literature. He does not live on The Peak with 20 cats and a parakeet called Trixy. He is not strange.